Self-ish. Rediscover, You.

Posted on by
Heart to Heart Audio. Just Press Play

Most of us have been taught to identify the negative associations with the word selfish and its opposing counterpart selfless. As a result, many have become unbalanced in developing personal behaviors and boundaries. How many times have you done something you didn’t want to do, entertained someone or something because you didn’t want to be rude, or committed to completing a task out of obligation and the fear of coming across selfish. So, you selflessly put the perception of others in front of your own and end up displeased and emotionally exhausted.

I can honestly say, that I too, was guilty of this. I became grudgingly content with going down the rabbit hole of people pleasing until I decided to be honest with myself about how I wanted to feel, daily. Making decisions for myself, with self being the key factor was challenging. Surprisingly, it wasn’t as easy I thought in the beginning and like they say, old habits can be hard to break but I was determined to create self driven habits for myself.

After much practice of doing life differently and making decisions that coincided with living happily and intentionally. I am more free now, than I’ve ever been in my adulthood. Learning how to merge and manage all things “Self”, like, self-worth, self awareness, self love, and self care has literally been a life changer. Being able to create a healthy balance of self provoking thoughts has proven to be a useful tool in actualizing not only the life I want to live but also both romantic and professional relationships I wish to cultivate. If you’re struggling to find your sense of self. Start rediscovering yourself today with each decision you make. May you find true contentment and freedom with being a little more self-ish.

Speak to you soon,

An Aspiring Heart

Awakening Aspirations

Posted on by
Heart to Heart Audio Just Press Play

It’s been years since I’ve truly set aside time to speak about my emotions through written expression. Why now? Well, why not? I asked myself, what have I been waiting for and have I been waiting for someone or something to happen? The honest answer is, yes. Yes, I was subconsciously waiting for something to happen in hopes that it would give me confirmation and courage to manifest my aspirations.

Fear was my accomplice and doubt nurtured my procrastination.

Then one day, and everyday after that, I chose to change something. That “something” was my perception. Changing the way I thought about who I was, who I am, and who I desired to be was the magical fairy dust of epiphany that I was in search for all these years. Change needed to happen and I was the only one who had the control to do so. The more I practiced positive perception the less intrapersonal capacity I had for self sabotaging pessimism. As a result, I can now feel the awakening of my aspirations.

I challenge you to change the way you think in effort to change the way you live.

Speak to you soon,

An Aspiring Heart…

“Don’t worry…Be happy”

Posted on by

Do you ever find yourself struggling to rid your thoughts of the days worries?  Sometimes, I find myself in mental captivity, wondering if the decisions I’ll make will come back to haunt me.  Consequently, I end up analyzing the details of every aspect in my life. Such as; friendships, dating and my career. I even find myself fast forwarding to the possibilities of my future and recalling opportunities of my past, attempting to reassure myself that I’m on the right track.

These days, my focus is on my career path as I’m nearing thirty in a just a few years.  In doing so, I’ve noticed that contentment comes and goes.  Its almost as though, my happiness is dependent upon having no worry.  As I reflect on the effect that worry has on me I cant help but feel discomfort in the burden this practice has created.  However, today I caught myself post career chat, and took a look outside.  What I saw, was a beautiful Sunday morning.  The sun hidden behind the shadow of the trees, peering over the roof tops, the neighbors walking their “best friends” relaxed in comfortable clothing and the sound of a plane approaching its destination.

As I sat and ate a bowl of raisin bran crunch (my favorite) jelly toast, and a tall glass of orange juice, it dawned on me that, per the commercials I grew up watching, I was having a “complete breakfast”.  A simple meal that many have had to go with out.  Momentarily, I was taking advantage of fortune, merely sulking in the stresses of money and the happiness I feel MORE money will bring me.  All the while, the life I have is a blessed one. I have a roof over my head and clothes on my back.  I’m alive, healthy, loved, employed and gifted.  I’m gifted to create the things I will add to my life.  Potentially, the things I accomplish will compliment my life and not be the basis of my life.

As I look to one of my “anchors” on my left, I’m reminded of the support I’ve had thus far and where I’ve gotten with it.  I’m sure that where I am is not who I am or all of what I am capable of.  So, as I finish adorning myself in an outfit that’s appropriate for a day at the mall and sushi with the girls.  An old song comes to mind.  “Don’t Worry, be Happy”. As you press play, let the tunes travel through though your ears and clear the thoughts that weigh you down.  Let this song serve as a short break from the struggles you face.  Have a worry free weak!

-Aspired Heart

The Anchor

Posted on by

An anchor serves as a point of stability and security.  You may also reference an anchor to be a newscaster, the leading member of a news team or perhaps the leading athlete of a sports team.  The purpose of “The Anchor” is the same.  Who or what is your anchor in life?  As we strive to pursue the things our hearts desire we’re not always eager in our pursuit.  There are days that I wake up full of energy and complete with motivation and then there are times that I drag myself out of bed and mope in discouragement.

For example, today, after flying the skies and finishing the days workload of only one flight I found myself with nearly twenty-two hours of free time in a city.  Some would be eager to get out and enjoy the weather, enjoy shopping, or whatever the time allots you to do.  However, today was just routine for me.  A layover of great length once created excitement and possibility, but today nothing in my spirit stirred as I’ve been here way to many times.  Would you believe me if I told you I spent an entire day in my hotel, under the covers, surfing the net, steadily pondering what to write and where to make my next move?  I did leave my room for the daily social in the lobby, for free chicken sticks and pizza bites only to return to my room with food in hand well, on a tray that is.  What’s ironic is that  I was totally content in my choice to spend my day the way I did, because I truly didn’t feel as though I were missing out on anything.

As I indulged in my sodium filled snacks, I watched the show “Say Yes To The Dress“.  I sat and thought about my life, my passion and what am I am doing to get there and who were the anchors surrounding me and supporting me like the women of the show had.  Then it dawned on me, my anchors are my parents and my boyfriend of one year.  Not one opportunity has passed these anchors to impart encouragement and emotional stability in my life.  They never let me dwell in an unsatisfactory state of living.  Instead, they push me and hold me accountable to goals and lifestyle I wish to obtain.

So, this evening as I complete this blog fully engulfed in my passion to write, I’m reminded of the anchors in my life.  The ones who won’t allow me to drift away from my dreams. Your anchors can only be as helpful as you’ll allow them to be, let their words serve as life lines helping to pull you closer to your destiny.

-Aspired HeartImage

Loyalty vs Love

Posted on by

When you fall in love with someone your relationship creates a foundation built from the interactions and emotions shared between the two of you.  Why is it that bond challenged when family or friends enter the realm of your relationship?  We should never have to choose between the two, right?

The confrontation comes when the love you have, for both, can no longer be equally shared with out strain.  There are several factors that can alter the perception of your mate or relationship.  One being, the meeting of the parents or parent, and close friends.  We long for that love to blend seamlessly in the relationship between the most important people in our life.  The common interest is you or course but some how that can get lost in translation as opinions are expressed.  Those dear to you can quickly become the jury of your relationship as they watch, listen and take note of EVERYTHING you disclose and EVERYTHING your mate  says or does in their presence, awaiting to decide the fate of that persons belonging.

How do you manage to demonstrate the importance of both relationships with out losing the battle of Loyalty vs Love?  To me, loyalty is being true or faithful to someone or something.  When deciding who to be loyal to, which love do you chose?  Do you chose your first love; family, your new love; mate or the love for yourself?

Loyalty to yourself should always win the battle against the obstacles that love presents to you.  After all, if you cant be loyal to yourself above all things…what level of commitment can you truly give to someone else or something else.

-Aspired Heart

“Broken Heart”

Posted on by

This morning I awoke to an article of a teen who’s unsuspected death has bought awareness to the extreme effects a  “broken heart” creates and what a challenge it is to mend.  My heart empathizes with his friends and family, as now, they will attempt to live with a void that his presence once filled. 

Life has its disappointments.  Sometimes they’re initiated by those we love and loathe or the goals we’ve yet to accomplish in the aspects of ourselves, our careers and relationships.  Although they may not be addressed daily, they still have the power to persuade  the course of our lives.  A ‘broken heart” is merely the burden we carry, when disappointment in the areas most important to us linger.

However, we can conquer those adverse emotions.  When we decide to determine the destiny of our happiness.  A “broken heart” can both strengthen or weaken but  we are stronger than our weakest moments.  Today, has granted you another chance to mend what is “broken” in your life and find fulfillment, and love in who you are and what you do. 

-Aspired Heart

Dear, Aspired Hearts

Posted on by

One of the greatest inspirations in life is love, a word that creates such complexity in meaning yet simplicity in purpose.  Love is an anticipation that grows with void, its meaning and value are retrospective to one’s experiences, not to be limited by relationships.  Love is a reflection of who you were , who you are and who you strive to become.  My heart aspires to find fulfillment in love and every aspect attached to it.  May my words be entertaining or provide solace should you choose to read along.   This is My Life and My Love.  The Journey Of An Aspired Heart.